A word of advice....

A word of advice…

Never ever ever renovate your house after you’ve moved in. And, never never ever ever buy many things that store in your house, especially those unnecessary.

My mom’s place has been in a mess since she’s preparing for my brother’s wedding. The old folks decided to refurbish the house, repaint the house and so on. And, I gotta stay in and help her, cuz, nobody could expect our mother to do everything by her own hands.

With such messy situation, honestly, no matter how a patient person would be will definitely find this irritating.

The workers that came in for the painting work, do not even care to move the furniture carefully. The entire floor is completely full of dirt, and paints… and, with this mess, that make all of us so busy. Busy to wash, to clean, to wipe and so on.

So, word of advice, never stay in and start renovating your house.

A reminder of the pain

While I was trying hard to forget March 21, 2008, Friday happenings.
Somebody had reminded me how I looked like when I was expecting my first child. Commented that I was over restricting myself for not taking certain food that causes my face looked pale. Added to that, ‘that’s why from the scan, your baby looks ok, but a lot of people said that you do not look good’.

Was it my fault for losing my baby?
Why would this people reminded me of my scar?

Wasn’t it a mother’s instinct to protect the unborn child by not eating certain food that may potentially harm the foetus?
Does it mean by doing so, it doesn’t proven the baby after born will be stronger and healthier but could be weaker?

I thought I had buried the pain safely down deep in my heart. With that reminder, I was actually sobbing down here at my working desk. Till I can’t control it further, I walked to the washroom and locked myself and cried.

Nobody could understand the pain that constraint in me… and, nobody could understand the pain that we went thru.

This is the only corner that I can cry out loud.
I don’t need any sympathy… but need not to remind me of that scar.

Lost, Down, Depress, Demoralize

• Do you have the day when you do not know what to do; you were so helpless, and hopeless?
  
  
• Do you have the day when you wanted to shout it out and whack the person you can’t tolerate anymore?
  
  
• Do you have the day when you really need to cry out loud yet; you do not know why you need that?
  
  
• Do you have the day when you do not want to step out from the house, from the room, from your comfort zone?
  
  

If you do, what would you do with a certain measurements to prevent all these non-sense?

I am into such circumstances that I don’t feel like going for any short vacation.
Reason for hubby to take me for a short vacation is because I’ve gone thru a pain where I thought I can walk out from it. But it gets hit me back on and off recently.

But I don’t feel like going anywhere at all. That’s the problem isn’t it?

I am even more depressing right now because I sense the civilians’ anger in many things. A very good example would be the 41% fuel hike and the electricity increase.

I honestly do not know what am I writing about to… just very lost in everything… basically everything.

Frustrations on husband

This morning a very close friend of mine called me to let out her frustrations. When she poured out her frustrations, I realized, I truly understand how she felt and what she went thru was something that I’ve seen it from my own eyes before.

She was very worried her husband came home late as he has to host some of the counter part that came from other country. Knowing her husband, he’s very sociable, and also a drinker too. Of course, when comes to such situation, in any wives’ position, will be worrying like hell. Especially right now the society security is not getting better; you will hear some kind of Mat Rempit ramping here and there, even in petrol station conduct robberies.

If any men out there reading this post… please do consider yourself in your wife’s position; or rather put yourself in her shoe.

What if this happens to you, when you got to stay up late just to wait for her to return home after a drinking session with her colleagues/counter part/customers and so on. I believe you would be worrying like what a wife normal does.

Of course, and I know some wives could just go to bed without waiting for the husbands to return home after a heavy drink.

Or perhaps, I am that type of conservative woman like the olden days that wish to wait for hubby to return home after such session. At least, I know he’s safe and he’s home.

Civilians' anger on 41% fuel price hike

Whoever have the ability to read and understand the current economy situation, will definitely make noise of the price hike of the fuel prices.

Passed by many petrol stations this evening, and I could see cars queue up for petrol refill and causes many roads were heavy traffic jammed.

Just one question, if you fill up petrol tonight, will the fuel price go down tomorrow? It will still be the same, right? Then why rush over to petrol station at this hour?

Well, I could understand a consumer’s anger over this price hike…. But what can we do?? We have gone thru the generation election on 8 March and had given the Government the civilians’ indication. What else does our Government need to know?

Everything is up… flour price is up, buildings materials are up, steel price is up, and now the fuel price is up too…. And by August, the Government will be announcing where would be the subsidy is gonna be… whether to eliminate it or subsidize by car category.

I have never want to blog anything about politics, about Governments’ vision or mission, about our PM… but honestly with this hike will make the richer become richer, the poorer become poorer. What about the middle class like us?? Am sure this level of people will be suffered like others… cuz, we could never be able to reach the richer level, neither can we touch the poorer level. We’ll be sandwich in between, don’t we?

Everything have gone up, but one thing for sure, our salary has never been up so high aka 41% like fuel price. [sigh]

Spoon Feed Employee

While I was thinking what to talk about for today, suddenly I want to know does your organization has somebody whom needs to be “spoon fed” all the time?

Spoon feed them in anything, like work, emails, slides, excel spreadsheet, etc.

Things that happened today and yesterday, one of my manager denied the fact that the numbers are being verified by him and he wants the number now for slides preparation.

I was like, 'hello... you were the one that verified and endorsed, how could you want another set of numbers again?'

Anyway, there are many types of employee in an organization, some could climb so high up there without doing anything. Some could simply polish the bosses' shoes without doing anything. Some could instruct their own staff to do work without him or her do anything. Some even don't know what is their own job could instruct her own staff to do some other things... well, there are many many more out there, we just can't list them down here one by one.

Or probably we are named one of the weirdo in the blog too, right? [grin]

Disappointment

Lots of people telling me that most of the women that under went a miscarriage conditions, will conceive easily.

I do not know how true does that statement is, cuz, it doesn’t apply to me.

Some have the 1st menstrual cycle in 40 days, some even took few months. But, I gotta admit that I was lucky that I had mine within 40 days. Not sure was it because I had lots of herbs that recuperating my body strength in an express ways or what. But, I was glad it came.

But subsequent month, I was a bit disappointed that it came again. I was hoping it’s a miss. Regardless is my mentally recovered or not, I know the best way to recover is to expecting another one. That’s what my gynae advise me, if you’re an aggressive person, you should aggressively try on, let the 2nd one to occupy the time where you think you will think non-sense or mourn about the earlier loss.

Perhaps that’s another remedy to cure the pain in us.

[sigh]… just try and try and try…