Farewell...

In life there are many things happen, whether is a happy moment or a sad one. Happy moment like you got to know you’re pregnant, or receive a promotion and increment, or receive a bouquet of flowers, getting a flying colours results in school, and many more. As for sad moments are your love ones leaving you, miscarriages, your love one cheated on you, friends leaving, and so on…

I actually received this news not long ago and I know I’ll be missing this mumbly, fair, smiling face, and caring friend of mine. Happy in a sense that she could retire early, and given a "package" which she’s been waiting for; sad is because am losing a lunch partner.

Now that, we are not giving her a farewell, but she’s buying us lunch instead. Not only that, farewell means an acknowledgement at parting or leaving. But yet, we know we’ll be meeting up with each other for lunch, for tea or for gathering.

She’s been companying me for tea break and lunch when I was pregnant, she’s been giving me the courages and many words of comfort when I had miscarriage, she’s been giving me the strength and supports when am under working stress and pressure.

I know I know… I may not need to be that sentimental about her leaving, there are many come and go in an organization. But to find a good, care, courage, thoughtful friend in an organization ain’t easy to get one. I gotta say that am lucky and bless enough to have them.

To you, God bless!! And, pal keep in touch!!

My supportive husband

I really do not know what to say… cuz, hubby suddenly reading those blogs and articles on miscarriages. He even told me that some women are even trying their luck before their 1st menstrual cycle. Some women are even pitiful, they had strokes yet they are positive to try on another time. Some women had many miscarriages before they could carry a normal one.

I know my sweet hubby is giving me all sorts of positive supports and give me the assurance that I could it like others. He just wants me to be brave and strong and face whatever ahead in us.

It’s sweet to have your other half to be with you and stand by you in any circumstances. Right?

I guess, without him, I will not be able to stand up and walk out from any dark corner. Though on and off the emotion is hard to control, but with this man with me, I guess I would be better each day.

Fruit Basket

The above picture is the thought of my management team has shown to me on my admission in the hospital the other day.

Nothing could elaborate more on the sweet thought of them. As well as the following friends –

1. WMW
2. Little Inbox
3. BB Community
4. 24hr Mom
5. Sembang & Talk
6. Jason – Ipoh Mali Talak Sombong
7. Joe – Lots of Craving
8. vKeong
9. Babe_KL
10. Big Boys Oven
11. Penang Tua Pui
12. Sweet Jasmine - Rainbow
13. Daphne
14. Lingzie
15. CK Lam
16. Coketai
17. Sugar Bean
18. TummyThoz
19. Ling239
20. The Gastronomic Diary

The warmth wishes and care is indeed appreciated from my husband and me. Thank you very much!!!

A sudden upset

Today extremely down and emotional also not that stable.
Feeling bad, upset, down anything you name it, I had it all today. In fact, I was quietly cried at my work place today.

I have all these mixed feelings when I see my colleague whom is also pregnant together with me. I was ahead of her by a week in terms of due date, now that I have nothing. Furthermore, I got to know my SIL is also pregnant this morning.

I was like why me?? I don’t know how to feel happy for people… I am feeling so down, so down…

I have not been seeing my other colleague whom I always swing by to her place when I need to let out some working stress… I have not been seeing her for many days already. Why? Perhaps I am not comfortable to talk to people and meeting people. I am still comfortably staying in within my own space, I guess?!

This afternoon a colleague, a friend from other department dropped by and told me that he feels sorry to hear about my case. He realize I was not around for many weeks and noted that when I came back to work, I was extremely quiet and also noted my tummy is missing, he guesses what had happened.

We both chatted for awhile, then suddenly the emotions suddenly went down and I started to have teary eyes. Honestly felt so embarrassed. Then, he said in life there are many people have their own pain… some even have to bear with a child whom is deaf, blind, or even autistic.

Now that I can only tell myself, God is saving the best for me. God knows what best for me. God will be giving me a brighter child, a happy child, a talented child and a brilliant child….

Hopefully with that thoughts, I hope I could be more stronger and tougher.

The 4th Week Grief

I’ve been working for a week already, seeing lots of colleagues and friends, and also seeing lots of pregnant women in the office too.

I was even giving a pregnant woman a helping hand when she didn’t realize it was drizzling on Friday on her way out to the car park. She told me she’s now 37 weeks of pregnancy, and taking half day off to visit her gynaecologist. I was telling myself, another more week to go she could deliver her baby if she ops for C-section.

My Finance Analyst had gone for her maternity leave, another colleague is 8 weeks expecting, some had actually entering their 2nd trimester period.

No one would believe it if I say am ok, am fine. Like what Little Inbox said, when you’re alone, you will think of the baby, you will think of the incident that happened that day, and you will even admire those that are pregnant now.

And, this is what am facing right now.

I know my eyes are looking at the TV at night and at the same time my mind is floating else where. When I see pregnant woman walk pass, I feel awkward and the feeling is like where is my tummy now.

Friday dawn was the time when my husband rushed me to the hospital. Whenever we drove pass the route, and specifically on Friday morning, I just can’t stop myself of thinking about it.

I even have friends asked me don’t write any more sad post in your blog, write something positive, tell you readers how looking forward yourself that you wanted to conceive the 2nd time. She even said that I should be counting the days when to conceive instead of counting the days when I lost my baby.

At one minute, I’ll ask myself am I a born loser? How come I don’t know how to save my baby?? On the other minute, I’ll ask again is this what God wants to take him back with him?

This is what am going thru right now…

Penang properties

Yesterday after work, hubby & I were actually visited a house near Batu Maung. It’s a new property development and it’s built by Sunway Berhad.

We both quite like the house except certain place we find it we got to do some renovation on it.

Every time when I companied hubby to view any properties, I’ll get very upset. Upset of the price that the developer is placing. 1 could tell you that Penang’s land is limited and expensive too, 2nd will tell you that materials price had hike up, we developer don’t have a choice. 3rd sub-sale of a property could have 100% gain from the developer price.

A very good example down here is this property that we viewed yesterday. Developer price was RM468k, selling price is RM585k, it’s 80% increased. Not only that, I was told, when this project first launch on that day itself, already fully sold. People are even queuing up to buy the property as early at 3am. Can you imagine that?

Probably you may think that I may exaggerate the matter, well, I have not exaggerate this but in fact, it’s somebody that we met at the neighbourhood told hubby that.

The agent that brought us to see the property could tell us, this is the market price in Penang, consider cheap already. Furthermore, there are so many foreign investors investing into Penang. Well, I would really like to clarify, … do we have lots of investors investing into Penang? If such, how come I don’t see any job classifieds in the papers then?

For a white collar like us, no way we could purchase a property like this especially it’s located in Batu Maung. 2nd, apartments and condominiums’ price are not escalating thus, we can sell off any of that to purchase a landed property. Whatever it is,… who can we blame?

Child abuse

Just now had a chat with my sister, she told me about child abuse case. While she was cooking dinner tonight, she heard someone crying hysterically around her neighbourhood. She felt so bad that she doesn’t know what to do, should she made a call to police and let the police have the investigation or should she keep silent.

Thus, she asked her husband to walk over there and take a look, my brother-in-law saw the kid was crying hysterically. When he took a walk back, the kid was like calling him, then, he asked where her parents are, she was crying so hard that my BIL not even able to hear what she says.

Now that they are debating should they lodge a report and investigate? But am sure with her character, she’ll find her ways to protect the kid and she’ll sure lodge a police report.

Question right here is, why are these people doing such things like abusing the child/kid? This ain’t anything like a ‘thing’ for them to abuse, this is a life!! A life where the woman, the mother carried for 9 months, and the 9 months isn’t short nor long, it’s something may come with many complications

There are many child abuse cases nowadays, and many cases are being covered and let the child die of no reason.

Whether the mother is under post partum depression or the father is under stress from work, whoever it is should not even abuse the kid. First of all the kid is innocent, does the kid deserve such abuse?

Guess I need not to say more, cuz, I myself was looking forward so much for a baby to deliver to my family. Yet I don’t have the fortunate to have it. And, these people could still abuse their children, I don’t know what would the society turns out to be.