A sudden news.... DEATH

On Friday, 12 June 2009, at 5.17pm, while I was busy cleaning my room, my former classmate gave me a call, asked me do I still remember so and so. Of course, I said ya, I know him, and I remember I saw him not long ago.

Then, my classmate broke the news to me, saying that he committed suicide and jumped down from an apartment an hour ago yesterday.

I was shocked, goose bumps all over my arms. I just don’t believe it as I remembered I just met my other classmate not long ago. And never believe this could happen to him.

Worst is, leaving behind 2 kids; the eldest was only 12 years old. How would the family take it? We even as classmate already hard to accept the fact that he jumped down from the apartment.

Until today, at this moment, we do not know what the reason behind for this suicidal case was. Whether as what the news said they are now investigating as sudden death or murder, but I wish the truth will appear and return the family the justice no matter what the case is.

God bless!

Traumatic Incident

When we read papers on child abuse, kidnap, car ride terror... we could never feel how terrify it is, unless you personally feels it. But this morning I read something that a relative sent me. It makes me shivering horrified, and could feel the panic that the family encounters.

Until today, the person that encounters the incident is still traumatized and it takes long to cure.

Times are bad; people... keep an eye on your love ones. Stay high alert on many things.

Bukit Antarabangsa Tragedy

Do they learn what had happened in 1993?? Highland Tower collapsed and many were died on this collapsed, children, adults, old people.

What have the developers had done for all these years?? With this accident, don’t they still choose not to believe this is our earth calling for help?

My heart shrunk when I saw the piece of news where the husband uses his bare hands to dig the earth to find his wife. The wife managed to save all her children, but she was not able to get out from it, and was buried alive.

Why were developers built those houses near the hill?
Why were those hill cutting projects approved?
Why none of these people understand the greenery is important to our earth?

Sichuan Earthquake

It has been 13 days after the Sichuan 7.9 magnitude earthquake. Everyday, papers are still showing its progress how to save those survivors, what’s the death toll like, and etc.

I supposed many had blogged about it and update its progress, so that reader could have some first hand information.

I would be the odd one out, cuz, I dare not look at the papers, nor the internet to know how things going, not even watch TV to find out more. Cuz, my heart was sad and depressed as I see many children were live buried under those rubbles.

Whenever I received email that widely speculating in the cyberworld, I see children whom are survived without parents, or some survived without children. I honestly couldn’t stop my tears from rolling down.

It was just so pain and sad to see this happens.

I spotted one from today’s paper (after so many days of ignorant), a father squad down and asked himself, how come our houses could stand still without falling despite from this earthquake but the schools are all collapsed?

Reason is because the local developer did not use the right specification to build the school, which what we call it build without following the specs. They were supposed to use the stronger, broader, and compact beam but they used the others instead.

I asked myself when they started to build the buildings, do they ever thought of anything may happen? Especially this is an earthquake epicentre.

Are these people only think of MONEY without considering other’s people lives & deaths? Don’t they?

** To know about Sichuan Earthquake update, pls refer to this link –
http://sichuanearthquake.org.uk/

The world is shaking!

Within couple of weeks, things happened in China and Myanmar. The death toll is increasing, and many that read the news, the hearts are sunken by these nature disaster.

If everyone does realize the all these do cause by the environmental issues, perhaps, we could eliminate or even reduce the cyclone speed.

Today, our company organized the fund raising for Myanmar as the Government only allow 2 NGOs to assist them. On the other hand I heard, this is actually control by the Government and many victims have not gotten their needy.

Read another news from Kwang Wah, a pregnant woman was stuck in the debris for more than 50 hours, and she’s also have the miscarriage symptoms before the earthquake was happened.

[sigh] my heart is so sad and I really don’t know how to write further on this anymore… just wish everyone lend your helping hand if you have spare money to these victims in Myanmar and China. Or you can even pray for them.

God bless!

The Grief Moment

Today mark a week of losing my 1st baby. A baby that my husband yearning for a long time, and it took me long enough to have one of our own.

Unintentionally I was not able to fall back to sleep after I got up this morning. I thought back what had happened last Friday around that time. Things happened so fast, with no experience, I never thought that was a spontaneous abortion.

Before it happened I was admitted to the hospital due to some bleeding. And way before this, things were doing fine and I took this pregnancy happily. Cuz, this is something that we never expected that. It was so coincident and it was really gifted by the God. And, now I realized, I dare not look at those pictures where we had been, the place where we made the baby.

It was disheartening when I see my man cried quietly, he acted fine and strong in front of me, but it was hard to believe to see him wiping his tears when he sees his baby was being pushed out from my body.

Things happened too fast, too shock and too sudden for me to accept. Water bag burst at 6.10am followed by fresh blood, rushing off the hospital with severe labour pain. I was crying hysterically in the car, and begged my man for forgiveness… I kept saying I don’t know can I save your baby or not….

Hubby was very sad when he heard it from me, I heard him saying it doesn’t matter; I want you to be ok. It was such in pain when I reached the A&E (Accident & Emergency) ward; the nurses pushed me up to the labour room. Hubby came along and holding my hand without letting out. Cuz, that’s the way of showing his love and support when I needed him most.

The staff nurses were there to see and also calling my gynaecologist for help. I was still in pain, and suddenly, I realized something is pushing out from my body. I was crying for help,… hubby was holding me tight. I heard them saying, it’s a spontaneous abortion, and after a few minutes, both of them press hard on my stomach, and I could feel something coming out as well. Then after both were confirming this is placenta abruption. They showed the placenta to hubby and pointed the 2 holes to him.

I was completely collapsed, and I was hysterically asking hubby boy or girl. Hubby was whispering to me that it’s a boy. A boy of our own, I was not able to cry out anymore. I only know how to apologize to my man. I kept saying sorry and sorry, without realizing it. I know then after the nurse gave me an injection. Whether it’s a tranquilizer or a pain killer, it doesn’t ease my emotions.

The nurses and hubby walked out from the labour room for a few minutes and he came back and told me that they advised him to conduct a proper funeral for the foetus though it’s not a full term delivery, yet, the limbs are beautifully formed. Hubby was crying when he told me that, I wanted to see my son badly, but all of them do not allow me to see him. I’ve never had a chance to see my son.

That day was a long day for me, cuz, we both received lots of SMSes and phone calls. I only take selective phone calls and cuz, I didn’t want to talk about it. I was crying all the time, emotional wasn’t stable, after a tablet of tranquilizer wasn’t able to calm me down. At night I was depending on the sleeping pills to sleep. Whole night was having nightmare and I could hear baby crying.

Lots of people telling me,…

‘You’re young, you could try it again.’
Or, some will tell me ‘it will be very easy for you to try on the 2nd one.’
‘This is God’s will, God will give you a better one. He doesn’t want to see you suffer.’
‘He’s not ready to be your son, you will have a better one.’

I know all these are the words of comforts; they showed their concern, care and love to us. Even now, smses are still flowing in after a week, lots of them will tell me time will heal. Just wanted me to accept the fact, things will be better.

I am still learning to accept the fact, yet it appears to people that am absolutely ok. But deep down I am still blaming myself for not building up my defences well. And, I know this will lead to depression if this continues.

I am learning to cope, I am….

I Lost My Baby

Date: March 21, 2008, Friday
Time: 6.57am.
Venue: Island Hospital

I lost my baby in my 17 weeks pregnancy.
No words to describe how painful it was.... I can't blog neither can I talk for these couple of days.
I just wanna be alone for now. Just alone.

Life is Fragile (II)

What was your reaction when you heard someone that you know die of unknown caused? When I heard of this, I couldn’t believe it and I was speechless.

This was happened to a friend of mine, and the demised is my friend’s brother.

With this sudden news, the more I believe, LIFE IS FRAGILE.
Enjoy your day, enjoy our life.
Enjoy every moment with your love ones and spend QUALITY time with them.
No one would know what will happen one of these days and no one could turn back the clock.
Love your health like how you love yourself.

Were you upset of this murder case?

I was upset over the 3 years old girl death that's been reporting for these couple of days.

Why would the mother could murder the own daughter? If she's not the murderer, why would she wants to assist to hide the fact and cook up a story and getting the entire world for help to locate the daughter?

If a couple divorce, the person that is innocent is always the children.
They know nothing about their parents relationship, and every children will only want their parents loving. Once having problem, the children's will affect the most. Especially for those that undergoing SPR, SPM, STPM, UPSR, etc.

Now that the crime rate is increasing, is it still save to bring the 2nd generation in this world? I have doubts! Truely doubts!

Do they lead by example?

Read this shocking news today. An 11 year old boy committed suicide because he was being teased by the teacher and the classmates.

Yup, get it right! He was teased by the teacher!!!

How can a teacher teased his own student that way?? That's sarcastic. The teacher was saying how could you use such a short pencil, might as well swallow it. The teacher don't even make a first move to offer the student a new pencil but to tease the student in such a sarcastic way.

My goodness, and for heaven sake, the teacher should quit the job right away instead of teaching the wrong thing to the new generation!

I believe many of us will be wondering, do they really lead by example?

I can tell, some teachers are even tell their students to go for tuition, nothing much they can teach further. WTF, man!!!

What society is this?? That's all $$ talking!!!

The more I write, the more I find it disgusting!!!

Poor doesn't mean anyone can tease, can bully, can ignore; in fact, we should lend our helping hand.... now that an 11 year old boy have committed suicide. I wonder will there be any follow up case on this?

Should the education ministry conduct a domestic inquiry???

Tragic sadden news

Just got to that someone we know and someone my family were close to or we were just met a week ago was killed to death.

Reason is due to jealousy.

Why people are now so fragile? So weak and so silly that to kill a person's life to gain another's love?

The recent news on Virginia Tech was making the entire world weeping about it and wonder why would a man like that can made such decision?

The victim is only less than 26 years old, and also a younger member in his family. Does anyone know how to love their lives? How to know to treasure? But not being violent?

I believe the newer generation will no longer understands what treasure meant to them. Do you agree? Or it's because of the education that we going thru or the up bringing?

Even the up bringing will not encourage anyone to kill till death?

Sorry to all if I have written this sadden blog. It wasn't a pleasant story to blog about but it is something that neither one of us can accept the fact that he was kill till death.

Final words... do love yourself, and surrounding. Perhaps things may change. At least, don't be that violent.