My Faith

Left one tube now in the body and the remaining tube is slightly crooked; one of the reasons could be due to the scar tissue from previous surgery.

My gynae did explain in details to me, if early ectopic pregnancy discovered, it can be treated with an injection of methotrexate which stops the growth of the embryo. Methothexate is kind of chemo drugs and it meant for those patient. The side effect could lead to liver problems and so on, thus my gynae discourage to use such method but an operation instead.

Now that leaving one crooked tube, I am not sure can I conceive again or not. Even my gynae dare not tell me will I be able to conceive. When we asked him the question, his answer was straight forward, he said he doesn’t know. But the chances of conceiving is definitely low.

If I do not remove the affected tube, but to salvage, the chances of recur at the same spot would be 20%. This means its high chance of getting back the ectopic pregnancy.

At that point in time, I told myself, to have or not to have I shall leave it to God! This is my faith!! Nothing much I could do anymore!!

The Same Friday

Source: MedLine Plus

It is the same Friday as March 21. It’s a different thought, different attitude and a different approach to accept the fact.

Remember I blogged about that I was moody and feeling down. It was actually affected by my hormone, as well as the skin allergies.

What causes hormone change suddenly? Because the urine tested POSITIVE and I took this test in a very ‘slow and steady’ manner that I will seek gynae’s confirmation when the time is right.

Thus, the right time was last Friday, July 25. An appointment was made few days ago and that Friday morning, I was having a good mood to see the gynae and expect to have some good news then after.

There are many times things are not as per plan or as per your wish. When my gynae had a scan on my abdomen, we couldn’t found a foetus’ heart beat and the sac as well. Immediately my gynae and both of our hearts sunken, cuz, from the scan, the womb was completely empty but we found an unidentified free fluid below the womb.

That even makes my gynae more worried. My gynae was kind enough and explained everything to me why could it be like that, one of the reasons it may be an ectopic pregnancy (子宫外孕). The problem that we had is we couldn’t see where is this ectopic pregnancy took place.

My gynae encouraged me to seek for second opinion thus we seek the senior resident gynae in the same hospital for a second check. The result is the same, confirmed no foetus found in the womb, but confirmed pregnant.

With 2 gynae’s advice, this is a life threatening case, and I ought to go for an emergency operation right away. Hubby and I were completely lost and really have no idea what to do next. Thus we called our doctor friend for 3rd advice and true enough our friend advised us to go thru the operation right away, cuz, and the fallopian tube can only sustain the foetus for only 12 weeks, once it burst, the mother will face life threaten, and eventually the mother will die of toxic that burst from the tube.

With no second thought, I signed the agreement for going for the operation, and I have full supports from my beloved husband. My gynae explained to both of us, there will be a risk of doing this operation, he also checked with us which type of operation would I op for, chose from laparoscopy or open operation. I chose the laparoscopy, which is minimum risk.

I was pushed to the Operating Theatre with my husband accompanied, and down there, I see lots of nurses and Medical Officer, Anaesthesia doctor too. The senior resident gynae saw me and came forward to comfort me with his sweet thought. Asked me and my husband not to worry, he said it has to be done as this is very dangerous.

At that point in time, I was having the panic attacked and yet they did not give me any tranquilizer to calm me down before push me to the OT. They tied both of my hands; it was like what we watch in the movies, I was stick with lots of those round stickers to check on my heart beat, my blood pressure and so on. The Anaesthesia doctor gave me some smelly gas to smell and also a jap that put me to sleep. I was reluctant to smell those gases as it was really really smelly. I was hoping they could give me an injection instead of the gas. But the doctor told me why he has to give me both, as I had my breakfast at 8.30am and we never expect this is an emergency case.

I was so scared, and the doctor told me I will have a feeling like a shrunk of my lungs and within seconds, I will fall to sleep. True enough I was like that, by the time I got up I was at the day care monitor room which monitored by the nurses and Medical Officer.

I could feel my stomach bloated up with full of gas, and was completely nausea and giddy. Then I asked one of the nurse, when was I pushed out from the operation, they told me I was in at 1 something and was out by 2 plus. It was an hour plus operation.

When they push me up to my ward at 6pm, my husband was so worried and waited for me at the waiting hall. After the op, I was shivering cold and the nurses gotta give me 2 blankets to cover me up.

At about 8 something at night, my gynae came over to review me, and he said the operation was very successful and it wasn’t to his surprise, it was an ectopic pregnancy and it’s about to abrupt, and the unidentified fluid confirmed is blood, and it was internal bleeding.

He wanted me to take a good rest and not to consume any food for that moment but only plain water. Cuz, I was still under monitoring stage, cuz, he worried I may be vomit if I have something.

I didn’t have anything at all for the night and was sleeping well, cuz, he gave me a jap where it’s a pain relief as well as put me to sleep.

And that’s an end for the day chapter.

I am sick!!!

Oh gosh!!! I am sick!!!

Sore throat, bad flu!!! I wish I can go home now, but, I can’t as I need to finish lots of things.

People heard me sneezing; tissue papers are all on my working desk. Oh boy… am weak am weak…. I need a pillow and bed… to have a good sleeps!

Work Capability

When you have a subordinate that do not have the capability to look at the big picture of a task or their own job, honestly, the superior is rather frustrated.

When a person has a promotion from their previous job, and then after will definitely sure added new responsibility. As the scope of job has wider and increased, thus, the ability of doing their job will be different too.

But, I came across somebody could not do the job but yet could highlight to the superior for loading so many jobs to the person. Some people may think the superior did not consider the staff’s availability but just add on jobs, however, nobody can see what would the superior think of the subordinate’s efficiency, right?

A very simple example, the manager ask the subordinate, please summarize the product transfer and send the summary to the manager by when and when. The subordinate do not know how to summarize but to give all the details to the manager.

Well, will the manager have the time to read and scan thru every single detail?? Am sure the manager will not have the time, cuz, the manager is equally have other important task to handle and also have other day to day job to do too… But, the subordinate could tell the manager that she doesn’t know how to summarize, but give her manager all the details and let her own manager summarize it.

Another occasion was the subordinate told the manager one of her staff was overloaded, keep nagging her own superior. But yet, no solution for that neither does she propose anything to the manager. Well, ended up both ends were suffering from heavy work load.

At times, I wonder was it the new generation that doesn’t have a sense of urgency at work, or the sense of responsibility, … or any others. But honestly, I do too come across lots of such morons at work.

Friendship

These days I actually kind of lazy to blog, regardless anything. Eventhough with anything in mind, I just have no strength to turn on my laptop and blog about it.

On top of it, today isn’t any good day for me, cuz, I have many things to do, to follow up, and to meet the deadline too. It’s just too hectic which I realized lately. Or it’s basically sick and tired of working life?

Well, I don’t know.

After read Little Inbox’s post, and a reply from her. I do realize with these blogs’ world, we got to know friends whom we have never met before, or maybe will not be meeting too.

We give each other encouragement, advices. Now that we have Liang Mui whom we know from the blog world, also giving us advices, helping hand and so on. Isn’t this is a wonderful channel to meet new friends?

A good nap

Who cares about Anwar’s news?
Who cares about RPK’s new?
Who cares about what PM says?

Most important is to have a good afternoon nap today.
Don’t you agree with me when you have such a cooling weather today, what’s best to do? Of course have afternoon nap, isn’t it?

It’s a cooling and raining Sunday!! And here I am dozing off soon!!!
Zzzzzz…..

Pissed with these news!

I actually kind of pissed and fed up every morning when you look at the papers, you will see those big headlines, ‘You Are Arrested!’, ‘You Are Charged!’, ‘Anwar is bailed out at what time’, ‘RPK is arrested!’, etc.

Everyday morning, we have no other news but only see these politicians are debating over oil price, sodomy cases, Mongolian murder, cronyism, and so on. Why can’t we have something like helping the country in building up the economy? Why can’t we have something like how to make use of PETRONAS’ $61B profits? Why can’t we have something like what has the Government done that attract many investors into our country??

Isn’t this is more fruitful in terms of helping the civilians, the people, the poor??

Our own oil company has produced so much profit and given a certain amount of it to the Government. Yet, our Government disagree to make use of the money to re-build certain states’ public infra-structure.

Many people asked me did I watch the other night debate between the 2 big shots. Honestly, I didn’t as I can’t bother much. Even I watch, what do they intend to do?? Yet the should be even more worried than the lower people that if this continues, this would definitely woo away many investors.

If this really happens, what about Malaysians?? They will have to face jobless problem, and they will have to face financial problems.

As far as I know, many younger generations are opting for migrating to other countries. Though they may be categorized as 3rd class citizen, yet, we do not have to see all these news each day, isn’t it?

Masayoshi Takanaka

Masayoshi Takanaka! I don’t who is he neither do I know how famous is he in Japan. But I can tell you if you like jazz music, I highly recommend his Fade to Blue album to you. That album is soothing and also easy to calm a person’s emotion.

A way of calming our own ups and downs is one way of doing is to listen to some soothing music.

In fact, I heard Fade to Blue once, unfortunately, no way you could get it in the market now, even eBay.

I am kind of regret for not buying it when I first saw it in the late 90’s. That time was selling RM90 over for just one simple CD. Only this album ‘Fade to Blue’ can’t find it anywhere. I even get friends and colleagues to watch out for me in Japan, it seems that it has stop production.

So, word of advice… whenever you like something and you think you will regret if you don’t get it or buy it. Better grab it!!

Customer Unsatisfaction!!

Will you be upset if someone, or rather the cosmetic promoter kept asking you the question that pertaining to your face, yet they can’t give you an answer but kept on accusing you for taking certain drugs that causes the skins allergy?

Well, I was not only upset, but also very angry and frustrated with the service that I was encountered when I was asking the promoter what happened to my face lately.

I’ve been using Sheseido brand for almost 10 over years, and all these years, I do not have any skin allergy problem nor dehydrated issue. But lately, my face has been having this skin allergy.

I know it is due to dehydrated, thus they were recommended me to use one of their product which is highly moisture. And mind you, that product isn’t cheap; it costs me about RM155, yet to count on the cleanser which I purchased from them for many years.

Anyway, when I went over to see them today, one of the promoters, by the name of Elaine Tan came to me, 1st question she asked, was it due to drug consuming. First of all, I told her, I did not take any medicine, nor any specific drugs too. Secondly, I told her, it cannot be hormone change, as I do not have any expecting symptoms thus, that could not be concluded as hormone change. Thirdly, I followed the processes in how to apply cleanser, softener, moisturiser and so on. And how could I still have the skin allergy problem.

Guess what, she doesn’t give me a proper advise, but kept accusing me for taking drugs that causes such allergy on my face.

I was so mad at that time and told her off that, if she can’t get me a solution right now, I would have rather change products. She kept silent for awhile yet still finds that I should not have such problem if I’ve been using their products for so many years.

Come on, as a customer service or so called promoter, shouldn’t be their expertise to tell their customer what happened and what next need to be resolved for such skin problem instead of concluded the customer had consumer certain medicine that causes such skin problem.

Well, that was not the only issue that made me mad. All these years, whenever they have any promotions, or any consultants came from Japan or Korea, they will call their customer one by one and inform them there’ll be a facial promotion, and asked us to support them. And guess what, I saw a Kiwi consultant today at the counter, yet, I wasn’t not inform about the promotion. And that promoter that assisted me was telling they do not my contact number. I was really mad at that time, I told her off, please check the record once again, I have been receiving calls from your counter, and how could you tell me that you do not have my contact number if your record??

I was really really upset and fed up at that point in time; I just walked out from their counter and decided to op for other products and services.

I suppose those that into customer service industry should know what is call Customer Is Always Right, and what does a Customer Satisfaction means!

Lost & Empty

I have been really down and upset, or rather tired. I don’t know why. Was it depressed? I don’t know either.
I am looking forward for the weekend, and I could have time to rest. Yet, am not excited about it, I wonder why.

I’ve been sleeping really really early these couple of nights, even slept before 9pm, hubby was worried am I sick. But I can’t tell am I right now.

I was a bit moody, I was wondering was it due to PMS. If it’s due to PMS, but why can’t I have that one time flow out and to give me a peace of mind?!

This is like dinging dangling kind of stuff, and yet don’t know what to do next. I even once, ate the entire chocolate bar without hesitation.

Or this is what people call it empty?? The emptiness in me that causes such emotion?

I am so lost.

Rapist vs Castration

source: Malaysia Kini

When I read today’s news, one of it is MCA Wanita chief Ng Yen Yen going all out to castrate the repeated rapist. Honestly, this isn’t any bad idea.

Look at the victim that recently that being raped by a police officer in Subang Police Office. She lost 10kgs within 22 days and she couldn’t go back to school and she’s now under traumatic depression.

Another case that I read in today’s Star Paper, a girl was the father and brother sex slave since she was 14, and yet the mother chose not to believe the daughter.

I am really shock to see such news early in the morning. With these repeated rape cases in our country, if we do not take serious action on to these rapists, honestly, the female in the country are really really in fear stake.

With the canes and lock up did not stop these rapists from raping innocents, if such why don’t we carry out something even more strict than the mentioned to stop these unfortunate cases?

There are many cases out there until today they can’t even solve, not to mention far, a case in Kedah, the girl was having her evening jog, she was raped and murdered. Until today, the case is unsolved. No suspects were detained.

Nurul’s case was horrifying. No suspects were detained too. They even sent the CCTV tape to US to FBI to investigate.

I really wonder and wanted to know do our police force doing their job right?

Conrad Bali, a holiday in mind

Last weekend, after work hubby brought me to PISA to look around for holiday package, it was a MATTA Fair held in PISA. We both have no holiday plans in mind, but just out of fun thought of check things out.

Passed by lots of booths and many booths are promoting their holiday package, regardless local or overseas.

We both passed by a booth that only promoting Bali, Indonesia. Bali is well known by its heavenly beauty scenery. People called it a gift from the God. Honestly, I have never ever thought of visiting Bali one of these days, perhaps am scared of the bomb case which was happened few years ago.

But, the person in-charge from one the resort in Bali told us not to worry and we should give it a try. And guess what resort is that??

A high end resort.
An expensive resort.
A SPA resort.
A luxury resort.

The answer is Conrad Bali Resort. Conrad is another higher grade of Hilton hotels, it’s belongs to the Hilton family.

When hubby got to know this resort and also they have SPA treatment that is about 5 hours. I could see hubby’s eyes blink! Geee… he just love SPA.

The Sales Director told us that, they will have another building that will be open for business in October 2008. She said, once, you stay in for their opening month; you will have a subsequent anniversary complimentary room from them. And that has actually caught our attention.

Though this hotel does not have Four Season’s serenity, but it is equally has that kind of standard. One question that the Sales Director caught my interest, which is do we like to have a local visit of Bali. Then, we both answered not quite, but prefer to have a relax holiday in the hotel that’s all. Then, she said, we should stay in their resort or others like Four Season. Cuz, these are the places that give their guests a peace of mind.

So, have you plan your holiday??

Creditability 信用

I guess I would be the last one that blogged about the PI retracting the SD (Statutory Declaration).

Not because it’s the talk of the town that I need to blog about, it’s more of a person’s creditability. And when he retracts the SD, does he ever know what would be the consequences and implication of this case, apart from that and the family safety and the children’s faith to their father?

How would the children face their friends when they make fun of their father. The kids will not understand how serious is the case that’s one, second, the kids will never able to take that kind of teasing from their friends.

As for the father, what would other think of him? Within 24 hours he retracts the 1st Statutory Declaration and also disappeared. With such attitude, will the jury board believe in what he had said?? Am sure, everyone would have the doubt on it.

A person’s creditability is important, especially when you’re at work. Your peers, your superiors, your colleagues work with you based on commitment, creditability, teamwork spirit to accomplish each one and other’s task. It may not be his or hers, but everybody’s task.

If you’re into business, your customers, your vendors based on your creditability to give you the 60 days credit or the customers will based on that to buy your stuff or service.

Correct me if am wrong…. I think creditability (信用) is rather important. Right?

Travel to 7 Continents

I was tagged by Liang Mui the first time, no matter how lazy I am, I know I gotta do it for it. :)

Ok, here it is, Liang Mui…

Rules:
1. Start Copy from "Begin Copy" until "End Copy".

2. Put your blog's name and url write in which continent you live, add the country you live in. Example: My Imaginary Travels (Netherlands)

3. Leave your URL post in here and I'll add you to the Master List.

4. Please help spread this tag by tagging your friends as much as you can.

5. Don't play unfair! If you have more than 1 blog, you can participate all your blogs for this tag. BUT you will have to post this tag to all your blogs as well. So, please. Don't cheat!

6. Please come back again to copy the update of the master list, often. This process will help new participants to get the same gains as the first participants.

7. Don't forget to use the banner at your post, you can save as or you can just copy the code in here.

~Begin Copy~

Master List:

A. Asia:

1. Moms... Check Nyo (Philippines)

2. Aeirin's Collections (Philippines)

3. Jenny and Belle(Philippines)

4. Hailey's Beats and Bits (Philippines)

5. Appleofmyeyes(Saudi Arabia)

6. Deranged Insanity (Philippines)

7. PROJECT HEAVY TRAFFIC (Singapore)

8. Rooms of My Heart (Indonesia)

9. Blessings and Beyond (Philippines)

10. lancerlord (Singapore)

11. allinkorea (Korea)

12. kimchiland (Korea)

13. korean food (Korea)

14. idealpinkrose (Korea)

15. Pinay Mommy Online (Philippines)

16. Momhood Moments (Philippines)

17. Business Mars (Philippines)

18. Maiylah’s Snippets (Philippines)

19. Picture Clusters (Philippines)

20. My Wanderings (Philippines)

21. Hit-or-Miss (Philippines)

22. Life Quest (Philippines)

23. FunFierceFabulous (Phils)

24. and Life Goes On for... (Philippines)

25. Moments of Colours (Philippines)

26. Making sense… (somehow) (Philippines)

27. Day To Day (Philippines)

28. My Happy Place

29. Me and Mine (Japan)

30. Little Peanut (Japan)

31. Creative In Me (Japan)

32. Pea in a Pod (Japan)

33. A Slice of Life (Phils)

34. Jenny Said So (Phils)

35. Live it Up... (Philippines)

36. A Sweet Taste Of Life (Philippines)

37. Through The Rain (Philippines)

38. Sugarmagnolias (Japan)

39. ParentZine育兒好好玩 (Singapore)

40. We are Family (PH)

41. Reference Notes (Hong Kong)

42. The Sweet Life

43. A Great Pleasure (Malaysia)

44. Lalaine's World ( Thailand)

45. Proud Mommy (Philippines)

46. The Real Deal (Malaysia)

47. Petty Ramblings of a Petty Queen (Malaysia)

48. Home Sweet Home (Malaysia)
49. Liangmui 38 Zone (Malaysia)

50. Little Inbox (Malaysia)

51. My Story (Malaysia)

B. Australia:

1. Reflexes (Australia)

2. Emcee

3. Outback-Pinay

4. Collect and Connect (Australia)

5. your turn

C. Afrika:

1. your turn

D. North America:

1. Simple Life, Simply Me (USA)

2. Pinaymama's Diary (USA)

3. 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires (United States)

4.Traipsey Turvey (USA)

5. Dabawenyako (USA)

6. Icelog (USA)

7. The Misadventures of an Ordinary Housewife (USA)

8. It Is Nap Time (US)

9.A Mother's Journal (USA)

10. Journey And Journal [USA]

11. Life is good and beautiful (USA)

12. Tasteful Voyage (USA)

13. Jenny's Wandering Thoughts (USA)

14. Mom Knows Everything (Canada)

15. Filipino love stories (USA)

16. A Mom's Note (USA)

17. Life with the Two Crazy Dogs

18. BLOGSILOG (USA)

19. Juliana’s World ( New York, USA)

20. My Daily Discourse (USA)

21. My Point Of View

22. My Blog Entry (USA)

23. your turn

E. South America:

1. your turn

F. Europe:

1. My Imaginary Travels (Netherlands)

2. Juliana's Site (Netherlands)

3. Picturing of Life (Netherlands)

4. SuperMae (Portugal)

5. The Callalily Space (The Netherlands)

6. Portia (UK)

7. Daily Grind (Germany)

8. Amel's Realm (Finland)

9. your turn

G. Antarctica:

1. your turn

~ End Copy ~

Now, should I pass this on??? Hmmm…. Ok~la… just pass on to 24hrMom la!!!

What's your decision?

If the clock can turn back, what would be your decision?

Would you be married to this man?
Would you be remain single?
Would you be studied hard to earn more money?
Would you be continued to stay in this homeland or migrate to else where?
Would you be working in this company?
Would you be hosting a blog?
Would you be bearing a child without a marriage?
Would you be knowing certain friends for life?
Would you be.... would you be??

Moody

I have been feeling down lately. I don’t know why and everything to me is so meaningless.

Today is 1st July… if the accident did not happen perhaps I’ll have another 1 month and 3 weeks to deliver my boy.

I honestly miss my boy very much. Seeing my friends and colleague whom are actually expecting together with me around that time, they will be delivering soon. And yet, I have nothing at all to expect.

So moody that I have my lunch alone, as hubby is busy attending his training, no lunch partner accompanied. So moody till I have no strength to work, my mind is not able to focus. So moody that I don’t feel like blogging. So moody until I wanna leave everything aside and just sleep sleep sleep and sleep.

Feudalism Society 封建社會

What will you normally do when comes to weekend? Some will go for window shopping, some will housekeeping, some will take this time to run errands, some will do whatever they like to do.

Well, as for me, I was busy going after a drama call ‘The Silver Chamber of Sorrows (銀樓金粉). From one episode leads to another, and it’s not fun to follow thru like that. But what to do, I’ve started the 1st episode without realizing it that I have hooked on it.

This series is about a filthy rich bread winner that has 4 wives, and it’s about the feudalism (封建制度) in those days.

I truly pity those women that born on those days, basically woman have no right to voice out their concern; woman has no position in helping the family business, daughters got to listen to parents whom to marry with. Apart from women’s right, men are the king of the family.

They implemented their ways of punishment or rather family disciplines (家法). They have the right to implement the procedure when one did not obey the family law, or conduct adultery. And one of the procedures is to keep the adultery couple in the pig cage (浸豬籠), and soak this couple in the river.

The men will have all says if their wives can’t deliver a son for the family, then they will marry the 2nd wife, 3rd wife or 4th. Reason given is to expand the family tree. If one of the wife accidentally hurt the other who is not expecting. The husband will carry out the family disciplinary action, which would be a thick big cane to cane the wife.

All these ain’t strange to any one of us. Cuz, this do happen in our real world too, though they kept saying feudalism do not happen in their family.

When I start watching the series, to all the women in the series is already a tragedy victim (悲劇受害者). Whether they are the 1st or 2nd wife, or even the daughter or son, they were all the feudalism victims.